Wishing the Days Away.
(Monday, September 25, 2006)
So much has been happening inside my mind, that I have been afraid to bring myself out of the solitude within my head and face life. Discontent rages within me, as it has done for so long. The days I find simplicity delight me... I wish I could escape such material vices and live simply, basically, essentially.
It seems that I live in a state of discontent, and now and then a day or a few come along where everything seems so exquisite, rather than the other way around. Is this my own curse, or are there others who do not live in a state of general happiness, with a few days of discontent dappled in between?
Why do I wish for everything else? My mind is filled with fantastical images of where I want to be besides here... what I wish I were doing besides this... yet I need to learn to find the fulfillment that is ready to envelop me, within my very own every day love and life. Sometimes it is with me, and I grasp it for a moment; sometimes it stays along for weeks or months before letting me slip and fall down the cliff face-first once again.
The images that fill my head.... my hopes and dreams.
And still I want most to live in the moments; to not wish them away.
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© Megan K. 2006-2007
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i love the pics you've posted -- and i can definitely relate to your words here! i think sometimes we are "primed" to be discontent in western culture...in the sense that we are encouraged to plan, plan, plan for the future. slowing down isn't always appreciated or encouraged (and sometimes you run the risk of being called "lazy"). i have found that as i've gotten older, i am getting a little better at staying present -- it's an ongoing process for sure, though...
meg,
i have found your blog through ruby's....and it's wonderful. i hope you don't mind if i come back to visit often. your thoughts are so beautiful, and you express them so well. i LOVED your 'about' page... and i am having one of those meditative weeks too, where i wonder about the discontent vs. exquisiteness of life.
take care.